Now That's Big

We had a doozy of a day today. Super heavy. We were in a meeting with a family that has generational pedophilia issues. It broke my heart. But I learned the most amazing lesson: I have no right to judge. These people, who some might consider monsters, at their core are broken and hurt children, using the coping methods taught to them. They didn’t have a choice. And I can understand that after being prostituted by your father since you were a baby, you would grasp at any way to have some sort of power and control in your life. Therefore they perpetrate upon their younger siblings/ children, because it is the only way they know to have a relationship with them, as well as they have a desire to hurt young children, as they were hurt by their parents. So take a minute to be grateful that you were born into the family that you were… because that my friends is dumb luck. During our meeting with this family I felt the deepest most profound sadness. It is devastating, yet we are working on breaking the cycle. Now I am left feeling the echo of sadness, but mostly numb. We are doing counseling sessions to help combat second hand trauma. And not having a bathroom door and having to tell each other each time we have to poop helps to keep things light : )
Ayla

Us Jews Are Born Nomads

Yesterday an older couple from Holland came to volunteer at Botshabelo for three weeks… and subsequently kicked us out of our room around 2pm. We then moved to the unfinished two-story hotel (and by hotel we mean little house), where we would get to have separate bedrooms. Unfortunately, after hours of searching through a million keys, it became undeniable that one of the rooms was locked, and not opening any time soon. At 4pm, we moved from the hotel to the Chalet, which is four little studio apartments in a row. We each got our own room, but it was a one step forward two steps back situation. Although we each had a bathroom and a shower, for reals!!!, and the most amazing view ever (we will try to post a picture) we no longer had a fridge, oven, stove, kitchen table, and there are a bajillion more bugs. At least this is our final destination, and we wont have to move anymore.

One of the drawbacks of Ayla’s room is that it contains the breakers for the whole Chalet. And the power likes to go out. A lot. In fact, last night it went on and off for a few hours, until it decided to stop working for good sometime during the night. This morning Ayla went to take a shower, but it quickly became apparent that the water wasn’t getting hot and that the flow was getting lighter by the moment. So she turned it off and went on her way to the village to conduct more interviews with Ilene. Fast forward a few hours and we return to our home. As Ayla put the key in her new door, she heard a sound…. And knew it could be nothing good. Turns out, instead of shutting her shower off, she turned it on full blast (but didn’t know since there was no water when the electricity went out) and her brand new bathroom and “kitchen” were flooding.

SCRATCH THAT!!! So all of that…happened yesterday. But today, our friends, is a new day.

We began our morning with a hefty clean. Unfortunately for our 6-8 legged friends, we forced a massive eviction. Ilene (AKA “The Daddy Long-Leg Whisperer”) must have removed about a bagillion (no really, we counted…a bagillion!) Daddys. This eviction was so big, in fact, we had to call for reinforcements to remove the BIGGEST, GROSSIEST, BROWNEST slug you’ve ever seen from Ilene’s bathroom! So after hours (literally, hours) of backbreaking cleaning, our rooms were spotless and we felt at home…phew!

We went to return the cleaning supplies, took a shower, and we were on our way out for the day…until Ayla couldn’t find her computer modem. Interesting. She knew exactly where she’d left it (which never happens for her), but it was nowhere to be found. And then…Detectives Ayla & Ilene discovered a clue! Dirty, muddy, footprints on the wall, strategically located right underneath a tiny open window. Hmmm. It didn’t take long for Detectives Ayla & Ilene to piece together what happened. It was then, that we discovered dirty, muddy, fingerprints above the window. CSI! Where are you when we need you?!?! We couldn’t lift the prints!

It was clearly one of the Botshabelo kids (because seriously, it was a TINY window)…and the villagers have no idea what a computer even is…so Mamma Marion had a little chat with the boys. So far no luck. Keep your fingers-crossed. It should turn up in the next few days (that is, unless they sold it for 5 Rand—which is less than a $1).

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better…we moved AGAIN!!! The Cloetes didn’t feel safe with us in the Chalet, so we’re back to the two-story hotel (AKA little house). Sans a kitchen sink. And kitchen/living room furniture...and the biggest bonus of all: NO BATHROOM DOOR! And an extra extra bonus: the Holland couple won’t let us cook in their kitchen (AKA our kitchen until we moved for them). Boo. And the SUPER DUPER BONUS: We got to clean again.

But, we’re grateful because we’ve got South African mountains. And tomorrow is a new day.

Picture Time!

Check out some of what we've been up to:

Ayla feeding Baby Tando

Baby bath time

Ilene with some of the older girls at Ladies' Night

The ABC poster

Grade 1 class

Education…(and a little more sex)

Con invited us to the WestCol main campus for a tour this week. WestCol is a nation-wide college system with 50 locations throughout South Africa. Because the original kids at Botshabelo are getting older, college is their next step. However, sending the students to college is expensive because it is so far from Botshabelo. In the last year or so, Con has been advocating and coordinating for a WestCol satellite campus to open at here for their kids. Luckily, all of his hard work has paid off and the WestCol-Botshabelo campus begins this Monday (tomorrow). The students will be able to choose one of two programs: electrical engineering or hospitality.

During our visit we got an intense history lesson on the colonization of South Africa and the South African educational system (which is very different from ours). In S.A. students go up to grade 9 and then chose whether they want to go straight to vocational school or continue through grade 12 and then attend university. Here the term “college” means vocational school. The university system is disproportionately made up of white students. Another interesting fact about the South African school system is that most of the black families really really really want their children in an English speaking school. So, their children come into the 1^st grade (what they call “Grade 1) without knowing any English, as their parents teach them their mother tongue at home. This causes a significant delay in their learning compared to the white children. This also contributes to the national math crisis where only 9% of the children are passing. Many studies have been conducted to find the source of this failure, and have revealed that math concepts are too complicated in English, and if the children are to learn math, it must be through their mother tongue (no action has been taken since the release of these results… surprise surprise).

We also learned that passing grade for most subjects is between 35%-50%, whereas in the US it is 70%. (now rethink the last paragraph where only 9% are passing when they only need to score 35% correct on the exam). And speaking of exams, there is a marked reduction in the use of the terms “test” and “exam”, and has been replaced with “assessment instrument.” These terms give off completely different expectations. Test implies that you are being tested to see if you are good enough, it is a judgment. Assessment instrument is more of a fact finder- where are you at in mastering the subject. Think about what these two terms do to a child’s self-esteem…

Now that you’ve contemplated these highly profound education disparities…you must be asking yourself “where’s the sex part?!?!” You’re in luck! In a National Inquirer-esque article we read that the some of the tribes are taking action against HIV/AIDS by giving circumcisions. Seriously?!?! This is going to protect you from getting HIV/AIDS? We didn’t believe it! However, Ayla told Marion about the article and we found out that it actually decreases one’s chance of acquiring HIV/AIDS by 35%!!! Who knew that the Jews had it right all along?!?!

In other news: these kids were fascinated by our freckles and birthmarks…because they had never seen freckles before. In fact, one kid scanned Ilene’s entire body investigating her freckles. And then, they discovered Ayla’s tattoos and tired to rip her clothing off to see the whole thing! It was hilarious because they kept asking Ayla if her tattoos were “so”…but it took us a million years to finally understand that they were actually saying “sore.”

So…What The Heck Are We Doing?

Our first assignment centers on infant mental health. AKA: Tando. She’s our very own baby for 4 days and nights!! We feed her in the morning and drop her off at daycare, then bathe her, feed her, play with her, and she even sleeps in our bed with us! If you’re familiar with Attachment theory, you’ll find it very interesting that Tando was born to a teen mom who gave her to Botshabelo at 3 days old (right out of the hospital), so she has literally been raised by the community. Therefore, when she was given to two strange (although quite friendly-looking and cute) girls, she went without fuss (normally, babies would scream their heads off if they were separated from their caregivers). Also, Tando is 8 months, so we are working on tummy time so she can crawl already.

She also has a mysterious boil/rash/burn situation that today expanded from her face to her shoulder. She is now covered in some sort of purple iodine something something on the lower half of her face. In her spare time, baby Tando likes making out with everything she can get her face close to. This includes a serious smooch session with the kitchen floor, her friend’s butt in the bathtub, and all other manner of body parts.

Our second assignment was helping the older kids (aged 16-23) register for college. Botshabelo is trying to add a satellite college to its campus, so the kids don’t have to travel far away to learn. 13 students filling out a three page form took 3 hours! It is not that they are stupid, but maybe have a different pace of life and different understanding of “urgency.” A lot of the kids had no form of identification, and no living or locatable family members.

The big project that we will be working on for the next week or two is called the Poverty Alleviation Campus. We are interviewing the villagers about their level of income and subsequent amount of nutrition they receive (most of them are living on around $70 a month for three or four people). We are going to help them budget and figure out the most amount of food they can buy, and if possible some food with nutritional value. Right now they are living on corn porridge, soya, and potatoes, and they usually run out of food by the middle of the month.

We have only been here a few days but have already seen an incredible depth in the issues facing Botshabelo and the villagers (they live just a 2 minute walk in a small village of 75 homes outside of Botshabelo). Just one of the many stories we have heard: today we interviewed with a village woman who cannot afford to feed her two children, and one other child whose mother abandoned her, has traded food from another village man for sex. This man is also known to have HIV, and his wife died of AIDS a year ago. If the woman can’t afford to buy food, she clearly can’t afford condoms either. Another concerning thing about this particular village man is that he began sexually abusing his daughter once the mother became too sick to meet his sexual needs. Now that this new woman and the three children are living with him, we can only imagine what is taking place. Each day we hear many new first hand stories of poverty, starvation, and both sexual, physical and emotional abuse.

Through this project we have gotten closer to an older student who has been working as our translator when meeting with the village people. He shared his own personal story with us, and while we were talking we asked him the best part of living at Botshabelo. He told us that it is belonging to a big family that is open about everything and really care for each other. Next we asked him about his least favorite part, and couldn’t think of anything. Comparing this response to that of an American child who probably would have a list of 20 complaints (i.e. “My parents won’t get me another Wii and 25 games”), we were astounded.

Dumella. I’m Hendrick…I’m Great Sex…

The funny thing about our shower is…we don’t really have a shower. We have a bathtub, and yet, there’s not enough water to fill it. So, instead, we squat under the faucet in the most awkward position, and stick our head under in hopes that we get clean. So far, though we smell pretty good. Another funny thing about our bathroom is…we don’t really have a toilet lid or seat. We have a rim instead. But hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go…

We’ve been at Botshabelo for 3 and 1/2 days so far, and we’ve already discovered some really big personal insights: For instance, Ilene’s memory rocks. She already knows the names of 100 kids…but seriously, she does. And for Ayla, we all know that she’s a little bit deaf, however, since our arrival, she just can’t stop playing the telephone game (you know, like when someone says something in another person’s ear and it gets whispered around a circle of people and the last person says something completely different from the first, but sounds somewhat similar). For example, our new friend Hendrick said, “I’m Hendrick, I’m Grade Six” (as in the sixth grade teacher for the school) However…Ayla swore on her life that he said, “I’m Hendrick, I’m great sex” and proceeded to ask Ilene what he said and swore on her life that she heard Ilene say “He’s Hendrick, he’s great sex.” It’s wasn’t until later in the day when it got sorted out.

Along with our new friend Hendrick, we’ve also made TONS of new friends called cockaroaches. But as Ayla said on the first night, “Looks like we’re going to have to make peace with the cockaroaches.” Speaking of bugs, we seriously saw the most MASSIVE, GINORMOUS grasshopper (that actually looked nothing like a grasshopper) we have ever seen in our lives!! And sometimes, we bathe with moths…just another day in the life of Botshabelo.

What are we eating & drinking? We’re going local! For breakfast: Meali meal…for short,
“pup” (which makes no sense). Meali meal is cornmeal that is prepared like oatmeal and we like it with cut up fruit, sugar, and cinnamon. And for lunch and dinner, it’s the local produce and meats. Don’t forget about tea time! (At 11:00 am, which then pushes lunch to 3:00 pm)…where we have tea and bread (but for Ayla, rice cakes). The water is just fine to drink, so we’re staying very hydrated.

Tswana Language Time:

Yesterday, a group of the older kids wrote us a list of Tswana words & phrases that they thought were important for us to know. Take a look at what they’ve chosen:

Dumella = Hi

Ke a go rata = I love you

Ko go gopola = I’ll miss you

Tsa maya sentle = Have a nice journey

Kealeboga = Thank you

Bikibiki = A little bit

Tshogofatso = Blessing

Tshoganyetso = Appreciate

Tionolofaditswe = Graceful

Tinatlnoba = Respect

…and the most important one for Ayla & Ilene:

Toilete e kae? = Where is the toilet

Along with making peace with the cockaroaches, we’ve become quite intimate with MUD! It’s all over our shoes, socks, legs, clothes, and apartment floor. Thinking that we were going to be hot because it’s the summer here, we made sure to stock up on tank tops and t-shirts, little did we know that the rainy season makes it cold and muddy!

The Eagle Has Landed

*** sorry it took so long for us to write. We were in transit for two days, and then we had to figure out the internet, which is a beast!

After Susan (Ayla’s mom) left a big, smudgy, jewish lipstick kiss on her cheek, we left Austin at 11:40am Saturday, and arrived in Johannesburg 5:30pm Sunday. We flew South African Air, and developed a love/hate relationship with it. Reasons we love it: pull out cup holders (don’t have to pull the whole tray down), they have gluten free meals!!, highly encouraged seat exercises for circulation, and everyone in economy gets pillow, blanket, personal tv with a bagillion movies. Reasons we hate it: we got crop dusted with air freshner when we stopped in Senegal for re-fueling, and they didn’t restock the toilet paper (with over 300 people on the flight).

When we arrived in jo-burg people seemed super friendly and helpful, until they finished carting our luggage (we couldn’t say no, they just grabbed it from us) and demanded a $20 American dollar tip. Then we met some cool people, until we found out they were oilers and proudly promoting their part in the demise of whales. But they bought us dinner so we cant complain. But then again they did call us in the middle of the night and wake us up to ask if we wanted to go to a casino (we had told them that we were gonna pass out bc we didn’t sleep on the 22 hour flight). And randomly the Dutch National Soccer team was at our hotel- Hottie McHottersons.

The next morning we went back to the airport to meet our ride to Botshabelo. In the airport we were super productive and got our internet straightened out (although it is suuuper complicated and we had to write down a page of instructions- something about converting cell phone minutes into internet air time). Then we met Sue (picture friendly chatty smoker wrinkly grandma that is very blond and blue eyed, and talked a lot about things that piss her off) and had an adventure getting back to botshabelo (bc we had to run some errands- Sue style).

South Africa is super lush, tons of greenery and amazing bright flowers (we learned form the oilers who were from all over the world that Americans say “amazing” way too much). We have only met a few people so far, but somehow Ilene has memorized everyone’s name from the documentary about Botshabelo called “Angels in the Dust.” We went grocery shopping and are gonna watch the golden globes tonight (sounds American, but we are going to be surrounded by tons of Botshabelo kids crawling on us and running away from bugs).

Ayla and Ilene

this is a magical fanny pack, given to me by my girl tara. this fanny pack has been all around europe, and already around africa once. it has had many owners, who each had a rad foreign adventure. this fanny pack has some seriously good juju. and yes, that is a brontosaurus eating some leafy greens on the right (you cant touch this kind of awesomeness).

in other news i leave tomorrow morning, and i feel damn good about it.

ayla

One full day left

so the goodbyes are done, and the never ending to-do list finished (aside from packing- see I told you its never done!). i have heard from a couple of people that the south africans they know are super blunt. if this is true of the whole country it is like i am being called to my mother land. if they also curse like sailors I might not come back. (i just remembered i need to convert my dollars to rand- another notch on the to-do list). (doh- and i need to call my brother (not a chore sean- i wuv u)). for my last day i hope to sleep in, do my ny times crossword- but its friday so if im lucky ill get a fourth of it done, watch a ton of crap tv, and spend as little time as possible packing. wish me luck to do as little as possible!

T minus 6 days

Since this trip will be an imposed, yet welcome, 4 month reprieve from tv and processed foods- i have dedicated these remaining 6 days to eating piles of sugar as i watch bad tv. i plan to rot my teeth and brain at the same time. this is the best plan i have ever had.

-ayla, living the good life in a-town

T minus 8 days

hi everyone-

this is my first attempt at blogging, and its 2am and i think i have succeeded! yay (little victories) a quick note on the name: we were trying to look up words in tswana- the native language of the area we will be in- and tried to look up "blog." we looked for a few hours, but finding an english to tswana free online translator isnt so easy, so we gave up. hence the blog name: how do you say blog in tswana (we are very aware it is probably just 'blog'- but thats not fun now is it).

so update on where we are at: ilene hasn't received her visa yet (or been able to connect with the embassy to find her status) and I haven't received my financial aid. on the plus side i have a middle aged man from norway now living in my home and ilene has a hot weekend away with her man. on the minus side ilene and i had lunch today and spent an hour talking about our ridiculous to-do lists (for example: ilene is charged with getting the malaria meds, and i get to go to the pharmacy to pick up the dr prescibed travelers diahrrea meds- awesome) and how overwhelmed we are. but on the plus side a commercial for little miss perfect just came on and i suddenly feel better about myself.

i clearly need to not be typing any more tonight. there is a good chance i will read this tomorrow and decide i have embarrassed myself.

goodnight! ayla, in austin